The Less Than Perfect Thing About Perfection

“Don’t let perfection get in the way of progress.”

Oh the number of times I have said that! To myself, to my children, and to my clients.  

Easier said than done!  

As someone who has personal experience with perfectionism, I’ll be the first to admit that choosing progress over perfection it is not easy.

I have been slowed down, tripped up, and even stopped dead in my tracks by perfectionism.

Many years ago, I took a knitting class - something to do in my (pre-children, pre-internet) spare time. My first project, a sweater for myself, was ambitious. I chose a beginner pattern but splurged on beautiful (and not inexpensive) yarn. I began spending my evenings fully engaged in what was intended to be a creative and enjoyable hobby. It was enjoyable until my perfectionism got in the way. When the sweater was nearly finished, I noticed that arm I had knit first was not as perfect as the second one. Upon this discovery, I ripped out the less-than-perfect arm and began knitting it over again. Somehow each and every arm I knit was more perfect than the last resulting in my ripping out the less-than-perfect arm and knitting it again.

Although I never finished that one arm, less-than-perfect sweater, I learned a lot about myself in the process!

Perfectionism can be a problem in our personal and professional lives, at home and in the workplace, in families and communities.  It can be internally focused, creating our own desire to be perfect. It can be others-focused, an expectation that we place on others to be perfect. It can also be socially focused, a desire to live up to the expectations other people place on us.  Most often perfectionism involves unrealistic expectations, which we do not do recognize as unrealistic.

Stemming from a need to be accepted, admired, and rewarded, perfectionism is rooted in fear and insecurity.

It can interfere with our enjoyment of our experiences. It can diminish our sense of accomplishment.  It often leaves us dissatisfied and even doubtful of our abilities and success.  It allows no room for trial and error, and robs us an opportunity to learn from our mistakes.

Whether perfectionism simply slows you down or completely stops you on your path, choosing progress over perfection is possible.  

It starts with awareness.  

• Notice your expectations of yourself and others.  

• Consider others’ expectations of you.  

• Are they realistic?  Achievable?  Human?  

It requires open and honest communication. 

• Talk about your expectations and others’ expectations of you.  

• Solicit input from others.  How are your expectations of yourself and others perceived?  

• Provide input to those individuals who have expectations of you, expectations that you strive to live up to.  

It takes practice.  

• Decide when perfection is necessary or important and when it is not.  

• Give yourself permission to do less or do enough but no more.

• Consider the return on your investment or the reward for your time and effort. 

• Create a time and place, as a personal testing ground, to do or be less than perfect.

If you want to increase your enjoyment, improve your self-confidence, or find a greater sense of accomplishment, I’m here for you.

As always.   

Don’t let perfection get in the way of progress.